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It is taking everything i got to not start drinking again.I had or rather have a drinking problem.For those who don't know,alcoholism is not something you get "over"you have to deal with it everyday.One drink may not do it,but the thought of it will.I have to put my little boy in daycare tomorrow;i have never been so afraid of anything all my life,really.I am really shaking,and freaking out.Hell if anything i feel like a bad father,because i have to send him there.I don't care why others do or how they feel about it;i feel like shit because of it.I am under so much stress right now,i am caving in.I feel like i'm losing my edge at work;being left for someone else is not easy(more so because he's a loser);daycare for my boy;past due bills;and i'm confused about if i am to start seeing other women.There are like 3 women,i am really into but all of them are with someone.I remember metting them thinking;"damn,lucky fucking guy"but now it's like why did i end up with the shit i did,just to be left for a piece of shit?And then there are other women,you know you are not to think about but you are.And i can't help it,because i'm lonely or going crazy.Shit this is kicking my ass.