i'm so lost,but calm

Since being left for another man(for details go to other blog)i am having a very hard time.I cry for 10 minutes,then get mad for 5.This not good,i am most of the time pushed and driven by the fact i am smart,mean,fair and full of non-ending hate.Not now.I feel like the dumbest person,because i would have never thought i would be with someone to do that to me.I get mad alot,now i'm just hurt.So i can deal with anything.And what you are thinking is how is this a good thing,well being this way puts walls up allowing me to be on my feet.Not anymore,i am now weak.Fair is not a concept i understand right now,why even try?Now the hate thing is something i need,but i'm fucked up now......i'm not sure if i have any left.This is very important to me,it pushes me and drives me to do better,without that i am nothing.Now what do i do?How do i get my "mojo" back?I feel so weak,the thought of doing anything,hurts my head and heart.I need to get mad just enough,maybe i should watch a shitty movie.That will push me for like 3 days easy.