I have seen, hell

I know it's been over a month since i last wrote,my dog ate my pc.Well really i have been sick,devil-sick.I got sick and then as i was getting over it,got sick again.And i think my body owes me a fucking "sorry",but i'll get over it.I remember being 21 or so(young)and being sick for a day,and still being able to do anything,fathertime has kicked my ass.I had a fever of 103 for most of the time,ok not really that high.Way back when,i could have a fever of 105 go out drinking all night;fight;get lucky;and head back to work.Without a bit of meds or sleep,not now.So i have started to wonder why i can't do that now?I think it is will-power.At one point i was sitting in the car thinking i can't make it to the door,because i was so tried.Then i used something i aalways do when i workout,yell.Yell and push myself.Suddenly i had all the power and fight and strength in the world.I was able to do everything i always can,because i "pushed myself"to do it.So being sick can kick your ass,send you to hell.But you got to push yourself to do everything.Of course having cancer will still make you weak,and really no matter of "mental pushing"will help.But look at people with cancer they still have the will to do everything,and of course they curse more often.These people are almost fucking super-human fighting,and here we are getting are asses kicked by a flu.My grandma had cancer for a while,and damn could she run circles around anyone,with a sense of humor.I remember a phone conversion with had.I asked her how she was getting around and she said "by my niggermoblie",i was like "what",she said "oh honey that's your feet".I must have laughed for about 40 minutes.Damn she was funny